Welcome to Backyard Magic, the podcast where we come into the backyard, pull up a chair, sip a little tea, and talk about some magic. Especially the magic happening all the time in the everyday moments of our lives. Welcome to the backyard, guys. My name is Nicole. I am your host. What's going on with everybody this week? Is everyone doing okay? Getting hot out there. Hot for us in the northern hemisphere. I didn't think that I would actually have any like Southern Hemisphere listeners, but I was checking my stats and I totally do. I'm sorry, I have to take a minute to like just talk about how freaking cool that is. Like I've seen some Australian listeners, I've seen some listeners from South America, and my mind just can't like compute this. Is that the right word? Yeah, that's the right word. Like I just I just can't. It's so cool. So thank you for listening. Ever well, everybody for listening, but especially the people in the southern hemisphere. I feel like you guys get the short end of the stick because a lot of podcasts are especially like seasonal living-based podcasts are like in the northern hemisphere. So I just I feel like it it kind of sucks for you guys because it's backwards. So I'm I'm sorry. Thank you for listening. I appreciate you being here. And uh, whatever the weather is like where you are, I hope it's great. So let's see, you guys are about to head into winter there. Winter. Well, what whatever winter is like where you are in the southern hemisphere, I hope it's fabulous. Okay, I'm totally rambling. Way to start the episode, Nicole. Like just a big ramble fest. What's in my mug? You know, I really felt like I needed some detox tea today. And just because I I don't know, just sounded good. It just sounded good, and I happen to have one bag left, so that is what is in my mug today. I had some everyday or daily detox from traditional medicinals, which is a brand of tea that I think is fabulous. They are ethically sourced, they it's just it's it's good stuff. Um, but there's like burdock root in there and nettles and cleavers, it's a lot of like liver, liver tonics, because that's all liver's all about detox. It does other things too, but detox is a big one, anyways. It was yummy, and I put some of my local honey in there, just a little, a little dollop, and it was yummy yummy. I don't know. I guess I just kind of felt like it was appropriate because uh detox is something that's better for the springtime. And I'm about to, we're about to transition into the summer, even though it when you live in the desert, it feels like it's summer most of the year, so it it's when I say like we're transitioning into summer, it's like the sun is almost at its its peak now, you know, like the longest day. Like as far as hot is concerned, that that's already arrived. We're already here, it's already summer. But uh, because springtime is the time, like that's the wood element in Chinese medicine, and the associated organs with wood are the liver and the gallbladder, so like detox is just better, it like more effective, I think, in the springtime. So I thought it was appropriate since we're at the tail end of spring that I should finish up my detox tea. So that's what's in my mug. Alright. One thing about the end of springtime, and like almost the beginning of summer, is that it's my birthday. And I thought it would be fun to do an episode about like magic and rituals for your birthday. This is a good way to like find the magic in the everyday, and one thing that I I love it when like magic and like witchcraft, you know, witchy type things are already like right there, like hiding in plain sight, because birthdays and the way people celebrate birthdays are like a really good example of this because there's already rituals that are built into birthdays that we we just do when we don't even really think about it. I know you know what I'm talking about. Like, what do what do we do when there's a birthday celebration? We sing, we sing a song to the birthday person, we light candles, and then the birthday person gets to make a wish and blow out the candle. If that isn't freaking witchcraft, I don't know what is. And I just I love it when stuff like that is just hiding in plain sight, like it's just there. Um, but I thought it would be I thought it would be fun to like just talk a little bit about some ways you can add magic into your day if you are celebrating your birthday sometime soon or whenever your birthday is. Um, you can I was gonna say earmark. I don't know how you earmark a podcast episode. Let's just pretend that this is paper and you can fold the page down. Come back to this episode at some point in the future if your birthday has already passed or if your birthday is not until later in the year. Um, because this this could be a good one for you. Just give you some ideas, different ways you can bring some magic, ritual, celebration, all of that into your birthday festivities. Okay, so aside from the blowing out the candle and you know, making making a wish, uh, what are some other ways we can magically celebrate birthdays? For me, you if you guys have been listening, um you probably already know this about me. And if you're new around here, hello, welcome, welcome to the backyard where we ramble about stuff. I'm on my game today, guys, where we ramble about stuff. Okay, the end. That's the end of the episode. Bye. Oh my gosh. Yes, we ramble. Um, but one one thing that my listeners so far probably know about me is that I'm always pulling tarot cards or my Seasons of the Witch Oracle cards because I I love them. I love the art so pretty. Uh, but I I incorporate tarot into a lot of my daily rituals because I think it's a really like just simple way to stay connected to spirit, like consistently. Um, and naturally I will be doing some sort of a tarot spread for my birthday. I've done one for the last couple of years, I think. I feel like I have a birthday spread, but I haven't. I I think I've used a couple of different birthday spreads, and I'm still getting like figuring out how to create my own spreads. I can kind of do it sometimes. I have to have like a really specific purpose in mind. Um, so usually what I do is I just find spreads. Like I've got some books on tarot spreads, I've or I'll just go online and Google, you know, like tarot spreads for birthday, or go on Pinterest. Pinterest is a pretty good um a good search engine for this sort of thing. And I've used a couple of different birthday spreads over the years, and I'm not sold on any of them that I've used so far. So this year I will be on the search again. I might, I think what would be really good for me is if I just figured it out and like created one for myself. I think that might that might be just a ticket. So that is some easy magic that I plan on doing for myself for my birthday, is like inventing some sort of a birthday spread. And I've there's so many different ways you can use tarot or oracle car or whatever if you are into any sort of divin, you know, divination, divinatory di yeah. If you're into any sort of divination art, it can be a really good tool to use for your birthday. Um, so I I know for sure I would like to use my birthday spread to kind of like reflect back on the year that just passed while also looking forward into like what I might want to manifest or focus on for the coming year. I guess this episode is a little unhinged. I planned on having more of an outline and it never got written down. So I'm flying by the seat of my pants. I'm also learning that that's my writing style too, as I'm working on writing a book. I'm what's called a pantser. And when you fly by the seat of your pants, I have a super loose outline. It's actually it was a detailed outline, but once I started writing, I realized like I can only follow the outline to an extent because once I start writing, all the words just pour out like a fire hose. Uh, so I'm a pantser. And apparently my podcast is like that too. That being said, I really am trying to make it more structured, and I just haven't quite had time to sit down and do that. So that is on my to-do list. That's one thing that I would like to set an intention for for my birthday going forward, is um let's clean up the podcast just a little bit, even though I think it's kind of fun for it to be a little unhinged, but we also do need a little bit of structure. So, anyways, there I go, rambling again. Bring it back, Nicole. Yes, I will do some sort of a tarot spread for myself for my birthday, reflecting on the past, looking forward into the future. Oh, I remember what I was going to say once I got off on a tangent again. What I meant to say at the beginning of the episode about birthdays. Birthdays are like a threshold. Kind of like New Year's, New Year's Eve, you know, into New Year's Day. By the way, why in the world did they choose January 1st as the beginning of the New Year? It's like the dead of winter, it's the worst possible time for a new beginning. That's that's a topic for a different day. Regardless, I I feel like your birthday is like a personal new year. You know, like on you know, January 1st, that's like the new year that everybody celebrates. So it's like a collective new year. It's got a different vibe, like it's it's bigger, there's more pressure there. Kind of like what I was talking about when I did my blue moon episode a couple weeks ago, how it just felt like all this pressure that I was supposed to perform magic a certain way. I almost feel like New Year's has that same sort of stigma. I don't know, stigma's stigma is not the right word. It's got the same sort of pressure behind it because it's collective, everybody celebrates it, even if you don't celebrate it, like it's it's a national holiday, you know. But I feel like your birthday is like your personal new year, which is kind of cool. It's your solar return. So the sun is back in the same position that it was on the day that you were born, and uh it's it it comes, it's the new year that comes without all of the pressure of the actual new year, unless your birthday is on January 1st, in which case I want to talk to you because I'm very curious as to what it is like to have a January 1st birthday. I don't know what that's like. I've always been glad that my birthday is in June. I think June is the best month of the year to have a birthday. Yes, I am biased, but also June is the best month of the year to have a birthday. It just is. Um to any other Geminis and Cancers out there, um, happy birthday. June is a good month for it. All right, so celebrating your personal new year, you can celebrate it just like you would the new year. You can make resolutions or plans, goals. Um, you can do any number of things. And because it's personal, you can I I don't know, again, I feel like there's just less pressure here. It can be more fun, it can be more just about you. And I like to think of your birthday as like like the day before your birthday is like the threshold, like you're kind of just about to tip over into being another year older. And so, like for me, you know, like the day of my birthday, obviously, I'm like, oh, it's my birthday, you know, people will be texting and calling all day, which is fabulous. It's nice to get birthday calls and texts. Um, but I feel like it's not officially my birthday until 3.03 p.m. Because that's when I was born. And and so it's like all day I'm kind of just like, I don't know, I feel like all day up until 3 p.m., I'm right at the threshold. And like once it's 3.03 p.m., then I feel like I'm stepping over the threshold and like boom, now here I am. Now I'm in the new year. And um, a threshold to me is like a liminal space. I was gonna say I did a podcast about this, but no, it wasn't a podcast. I wrote a Substack post about this, about liminal spaces. I think I actually took that one down. Um I did, I took that one down. I might put it back up at some point or write a different one because it was uh it got really personal and why did I take that? Oh, because I changed the format of my subsec, that's why. Anyways, I wrote a post about liminal spaces and how they're kind of like a liminal space is like an in-between space. It's like you're not really in one place or another. Um, so like that time between sleep and awake is a liminal space. Um, I feel like driving is a liminal space. Like if you're flying in a plane, you're kind of in a liminal space, like you're not like you're there, but you're not anywhere, you know, like you're you're in between one place and another, liminal spaces. Liminal spaces can be uncomfortable. That's what the post that I wrote was about. It was like the discomfort of being in a liminal space. And I I feel like to an extent, birthdays are also like that because they are a liminal space, and sometimes it is a little disorienting going from one age to another. Sometimes it's like completely anticlimatic, and it's like not a big deal. I guess it also it depends on the birthday. Like, is it a milestone birthday? Did you have a big year? Did you have a hard year? There's so many factors involved as to like how you might feel emotionally on your birthday. But either way, it's a liminal space. And um I think it's it could be helpful if you want to like magic, magic up your birthday um by treating it as such, kind of like a a sacred rite of passage, you know. Like I think what I'm gonna what I'm gonna do, I my birthday is on Saturday, so I intentionally took Friday off, which I've never done before. I've taken the day of my birthday off before, but I've never really taken the day before off. And I'm really glad that I did. I did this months in advance because my calendar is booked out like really far. Um, so I months ago was like, you know, I'm gonna block that Friday off. Like nobody can schedule that day. I'm gonna take that day off. And so when I look at my calendar now and I'm trying to schedule people, it's like, oh yeah, I'm not going in on Friday because that's my day off. And I think now that I've like given myself space to do this, um, one, that's like a gift that I gave to myself. So that that's a birthday gift that I gave to myself is scheduling the day before my birthday off because I want to treat that day as like entering the threshold and like crow intentionally crossing into the liminal space. I don't really know what I'm going to do that day, in all honesty. I just know that I wanted the space to be able to allow whatever wanted to come up. Um, I think that that actually might be the day where I I might break up my tarot um birthday divination into two parts. And I kind of think that the first part will be done on Friday, the day before my birthday. Um and that might be like where I do my reflection, like reflecting on the year that I just completed. And then the day of my birthday, I think I might do a different spread on um looking forward, you know, because I will have crossed the threshold at that point. Um also when I talk about tarot, I do a lot of journaling along with when when I'm going to be doing a specific spread and not just like a daily card pull, I do a lot of journaling. So this is a big part of it. Like it's not just pulling tarot cards, it's like pulling the cards, really sitting with them, feeling them out, and then journaling about it. And what's cool is that I've been doing this for a couple of years now, so I've got um like a log, and I can this might be another thing that I do the day before my birthday, too, is I might go back and look at the last few years of uh birthday spreads that I've pulled just to read them and kind of see like what happened, how did everything unfold? Was this accurate? Um also like it's an interesting experiment or like just observation on how my tarot skills have improved over the years. Like, oh, I interpreted that card very differently last year than I do this year, you know, so that's just kind of fun. Um, so that that's a little magic that I plan on doing for myself for my birthday is just tarot and um intentionally sitting in the liminal space the day before my birthday. Um and then, you know, obviously on the day of your birthday, if if this is how you choose to be celebrated, or if you have people that want to celebrate you in this way, you know, they're singing, there's blowing out candles, like that will that will all be part of it, especially because I have I have a young dog a young daughter, and I want I want her to see the adults being celebrated, because I feel like before she arrived for the longest time, I didn't want to celebrate my birthday. There was a lot that went into that. Um, part of it was seasonal affective disorder, and I just a lot of reasons. I didn't want to celebrate my birthday, and I certainly didn't want anybody to sing to me, and I didn't want to blow out any candles, and since she has arrived, I have decided that it's important to see for her to see the adults celebrating themselves too, because I feel like adults lose that, and I don't want it to just be like about we only celebrate the kids, you know. So since she's gotten here, I've definitely been more like, all right, let's make some cupcakes or something, let's do something. Y'all can light a candle for me and sing to me. And it's been interesting because again, for the longest time I didn't want my birthday to be celebrated, and now I feel like I've kind of gotten into it and am better about just being forthcoming with what I want. Like, hey, this is what I want for birthday dinner, and like this is what I want for dessert. And if there's a particular like little gift or something that I have my eye on, like I'll send it to people. Like, if anybody wants to get Nicole a birthday present, like this is what I want. And like I I kind of feel like that's a another, I feel like that's a type of magic in its own way, you know, because it's like not exactly asserting yourself, because I don't it doesn't feel like assertion, it feels more like stating my wants and needs to people and allowing them the space to act on that. And this is a big deal for me because I historically am not that great at communicating, and then even though there's like things that I actually do want and need, but if I don't talk about them, nobody can read my mind and figure out what it is that I want. So then I'm like left disappointed because people aren't giving me what I want because I didn't tell them what I want. It's it's a whole thing. I'm getting better about it. So this year I was just straightforward like, here's what I want. And um that felt good. That felt like a gift to myself. So I feel like that's a type of magic. And then allowing other people to rise to that challenge and like actually give them um space and opportunity to show up that way. Because something that I have really come to discover and understand is that people want to do nice things for other people. Like, because I I I used to see that I still see this like with my my mom and just like other adults in my life, how they have a really hard time receiving things. They they don't like being acknowledged and celebrated and having gifts given to them. It's like there's a guilt factor involved. They feel like they don't deserve it. And for a long time I felt that way too. And as I've gotten older, especially, you know, since I had my daughter, and I realized like I don't want her to be like that as an adult. Like I want, I want her, like if she has something that she wants or needs, like I want her to say what she wants or needs. And if she's going to do that, it needs to be modeled to her, um, which means I need to model that for her. And a big part of that is like being open to receiving and being okay with receiving. And this could be anything. This could be something as simple as receiving a compliment, or as simple as receiving a birthday wish, you know, like if somebody wishes you a happy birthday instead of being like, uh, like feeling weird about it, and you just say thank you. That's all you need to say. Thank you for thinking of me. I appreciate your well-wishes, and like really receiving the well-wishes and allowing that. Like, people want to be nice and to do nice things for other people. You just have to actually allow them to do that. And um, that's been a big lifelong lesson for me. So I'm definitely getting better about that. So that's that's another like little piece of magic that I am doing for myself is just stating my needs, what I want, like allowing myself to receive. If anybody wants to do anything for me that day, um, regardless of what it is, like I said, you could just be a simple birthday wish, um, sending me a text, like any anything, any sort of acknowledgement. It's like that's lovely. I will take it. Like, thank you so much for thinking of me. Um, because that's that's all positive energy, and like we could all use positive energy, right? Yeah, and then obviously, like singing, blowing out candles, the whole thing. Like, the whole thing, and that's pretty much all I plan on doing is my tarot spread, the regular birthday stuff, blowing out candles, it's being able to receive nice things in any capacity, um, without guilt, and um, we're without shame or any of that. And I think the most important thing for me is like the threshold piece. Like, I really want to sit at the threshold on the day before my birthday and just reflect and be grateful, like sit in gratitude, and then intentionally cross over into the next the next year. I might even do some sort of a little ritual to like uh physically represent that. Like I I might I might do it quite literally and like go outside and draw a line, like in the in the dirt or the um in the rocks, because I have a rock garden. I might just draw a line in the rock garden and like literally step over it, like step from one side of the line to the other and like symbolically and literally cross the threshold into the next the next year of my life. Um, I might get dressed up to do that, I might not. I haven't decided. This is this is part of why I love backyard magic, is because a lot of it is on the fly. Like I said, I'm a panther. Um I ha I usually have a loose idea and then I kind of just run with it, depending on how I'm feeling that day, um, what supplies I have available to me, and it's not super fancy, which is kind of the point. Like, and that's bringing it back to like the whole point of this show was to just help other people who want to live more magically see that you can. It's already here, like the magic is already available. You don't need elaborate rituals and fancy tools and gobs of time, like you you don't, you don't need any of that stuff. You just need a little bit of intention and a little bit of uh maybe some creativity and flexibility, and then you just do the thing, and it doesn't have to look perfect because it's not performative, like it's for you, so that you can feel connected to yourself and to your higher self and to spirit and whatever capacity that is, or you whatever way that looks to you. Um, so that's that's backyard magic. Yay, I if I do this, it will literally be in the backyard because that's where I do the bulk of my magic. Um, yeah, some sort of ritual to cross the threshold. And then my my journaling and my my tarot spreads. That's that's pretty much it. That sounds like a pretty cool birthday. And because I my birthday is in June and I live in the desert and it's hot, there will probably be some water involved too. Like I'll this might be the first day that I actually get into the pool. I haven't been in the pool yet because I think the water's too cold, but um I might do it on my birthday. I don't know. I I think it's just it's kind of a tradition because my birthday is in June and it's usually warm, that it just feels nice to be in the water, even if the water is a little bit cold. It's um uh I don't know, it's become like, yeah, like I said, a a sort of tradition. So that might be the first day that I go into the water. And like as as I do that, it it's one, it's fun. Um, but two, I could also make that into a little ritual, also, you know, it can be like when I go in, I'm cleansing myself of the last year, and when I come out of the water, like like the threshold thing again. Like, I I step in as a 41-year-old, and I step out as a 42-year-old, and I'm a new person, like being baptized, kind of. And that's so simple. Like, anybody can do that. Anybody can do that, especially if you have a June birthday and it's hot where you live. Yeah, that's all I got. That's all I got for you. So, thank you for listening. Um, I know I was I I was doing the end segment, the what's your your backyard magic moment of the week. I haven't been doing that recently for no particular reason, other than I guess I just feel like I need a different bit for the end, but I don't really know what I want it to be yet. Yeah, I don't really know. I will get back to you guys. I'm I'm still we're I'm still recovering from burnout, which is better. It's not as it's still not as like good as I want it to be, but it's significantly better. And I oh, I do have to give you a quick update because I found this funny. It was just, or I maybe ironic is the better word, but you know, I did my last episode where I talked about the um the so far the results of my candle burning burnout ritual that I had done and like all the positive changes that were happening. And then like shortly after I did that episode, I feel like everything just completely fell apart, and I had the most down week. It was like, oh, here's the burnout. Although in hindsight, I actually think hormones had a lot to do with it. I had forgotten to take my supplements for a few days, and and anyways, it was a whole thing. Um, I just I thought it was ironic that I was like feeling a lot better, and then I crashed hardcore. Like I felt like I was walking through mud, and then I would have like a really like an up day and then a really down day, and it was like this crazy roller coaster for the entire week, and it yeah, culminated with my cycle, so I guess it it really was just hormonal, and I cannot skip my supplements, um, at least at this point in my life. So take your supplements, Nicole, drink your tea. Um, your your hormones will thank you. Uh, this week is much more level though. Much, much more level. I feel much more myself, which is great. So, yes, the burnout is getting better. Um, anyways, I bring all of that up because like I've got things that I want to do for the podcast to just kind of improve it, make it a little bit more polished, have an actual intro and an actual outro and like an actual end segment, and I am thinking about these things, but I also have to go a little bit slow because burnout recovery. Um, and I'm just allowing myself the space to do that, to be as slow as I need to. I'm still showing up and I'm still doing the show, and that is going to be good enough. I'm trying to like live my life by or walk my talk, I guess. Like I'm always telling people, you know, do what your body needs, like whatever you need, do it, make it happen, and I'm trying to live that as well. Like, just go slow. I don't have to pressure myself. The things are still getting done, and it doesn't have to be perfect. That's the big one. It doesn't have to be perfect, it just needs to be good enough. That's what my birthday will be. It will be good enough. Actually, no, it will be better than good enough. It will be great. I'm looking forward to it. And if any of you are having a birthday, I hope your birthday is great too. Whenever your birthday is, happy birthday. Everybody has a birthday at some point during the year. So if your birthday already passed, happy birthday. Happy late birthday. If your birthday is coming up, happy soon-to-be birthday. If your birthday is later in the year, happy almost birthday sometime. And one thing you can gift to yourself is to go on YouTube, type in Beatles' birthday song, and there's a live version of Paul McCartney singing the birthday song, and it's the best thing ever. And I send this video clip to everybody I know on their birthday pretty much every year. It's kind of just become my my thing. Um, and you know what? I'm probably gonna do that for myself this year. I'm gonna I'm gonna watch Paul McCartney sing me the birthday song. So I'm gonna stop talking now. Have a good night. I will talk to you guys next week where um we will be talking about the summer solstice. That's exciting. And yeah, thank you so much for listening. If you are liking the show and finding my ramblings amusing in any way or helpful, um, leave a review. I would be honored if you left a review. Thank you so much, and I will talk to you guys next week. Bye.